Let's begin...

First blog about my Mommyhood journey.

How intimidating.

Where to begin...?

I suppose an introduction will get me rolling and onto bigger things.

"The sunshine of my life" comes in the way of a bright, exuberant, funny, handsome, gloriously happy 15 month old boy who am am lucky enough to be a stay at home mother to. I'm not sure what was important in my life before he was here, but I do know that I am now happier and more fulfilled that I ever imagined I'd be. I wear smile lines around my lips with pride. I likely laugh more in one day than I did in a month's time before his birth. I've flung myself deep into Mommyhood and have done constant research and reading on how exactly I've wanted to do it, and how I don't. I have no other job, and like any other employment I've had since becoming an adult, I have given it incredible attention and effort. This is not to brag. Sometimes my intensity leaves me exhausted, in need of a break and more than not, anxious about a long list of things I need and wish to do. I don't know any other way of doing things. Changing this isn't anything I'm interested in either.

What I have decided is that I would breast feed exclusively, and when he decided to self-wean, despite my efforts to bring him back, I decided that I would pump 4-5x a day to provide him the only milk that he'll drink anyhow. After his GERD began to fade at one year, and he no longer required an incline for sleeping, I began co-sleeping, something I longed to do for months. I decided to follow Attachment Parenting. I read about Free Range parenting and it made sense. I could go on and on. 

Most importantly for my purposes here, when I read about the Montessori philosophy, a million beautiful bells went off in my head. Familiar bells, as I had been doing so much of the teachings already, and new bells that I knew would be able to guide me through so much of his childhood. This is not to say that I am 100% Montessori. Co-sleeping is something Maria Montessori would surely scold me for, but I also know what my child's emotional needs are and will always fulfill them. I have incorporated Waldorf, as I believe fantasy play is important, as well as music and art. I've begun to shun all electronic toys, taking out the batteries, and when this renders the toy useless, selling them to others. I contradict this as well, as there are a few passive toys that would be like snatching a lovie from an anxious toddler, so I've decided to let them stay. I have dreams of making my own wooden furniture and materials. I am in love with my home full of shelves and centers for toys that are easily accessible and a home that is 100% childproofed and free for my child to roam and explore without constantly hearing the word "no". I delight in a child who truly appreciates order, putting away, closing doors and cabinets, pushing in his chair, undressing, helping to sweep and rake...without prompting. Spying on him playing independently with his toys without interruption or distraction is fascinating. Watching him grow so happily into an independent child with the confidence that he can do things on his own because he knows that we believe in his capabilities and have the utmost respect for his needs, socially, emotionally, and intellectually, is incredibly rewarding. For me, Montessori is the beautiful answer. I luckily have a husband who is on board and open to listening to and learning everything that I have experienced and read. Finding a focus that fits the way Montessori does makes me and the household feel balanced, light and peaceful. 

This is the Mommy I am now. I am not afraid of evolving, changing and rearranging priorities as I read, grow, and as my child does the same. Whether this blog is updated several days a week, a few times a month, whether activities will always include photos (as I'm undecided about this as a distraction), and what will be shared in this place is unknown, but I hope that others will enjoy and maybe even find a new idea, as I so often have from others. Thanks for reading.

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